Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Friend vs. Best Friend

1.    A friend is someone you call to confide that you just killed someone. 
A best friend is someone who’ll show up at your door with a shovel.

2.    A friend will rush to your aid if you fall flat on your face. 
A best friend will laugh and yell, “Stupid!”

3.    A friend returns a favor. 
A best friend doesn't because there are no favors between best friends.

4.    A friend will listen to what you’re saying. 
A best friend will listen to what you’re NOT saying.

5.    A friend will comfort you if you’re crying over a boy. 
A best friend will tell you you’re an idiot and to snap out of it.

6.    A friend will tell you that what you’re doing is wrong. 
A best friend will join you.

7.    A friend will bail you out when you’re in jail. 
A best friend won’t because he’s in jail with you.

8.    A friend will hide me from the cops. 
A best friend is probably the reason they’re after me in the first place.

9.    Upon seeing your mom in your house, a friend will say “Good evening, Auntie!”
 while a best friend will say, “Mom, what’s up for dinner?”

10.  A friend will say, “I love you, but you’re stupid” 
while a best friend will say, “You’re stupid, but I love you”.

11.  A friend will know when you’re sad.
 A best friend will know what’s making you sad.

12.  A friend will buy you a smart phone for your birthday, 
but your best friend will be the one who will borrow it and you’d let him.

13.  A friend will expect an invitation to your party. 
A best friend will crash the party whether he’s invited or not.

14.  A friend will kill for you. 
A best friend will die for you.

15.  A friend can become your enemy. 
A best friend can become your worst enemy.

16.  A friend will steal your girlfriend.
 A best friend can steal your wife.

17.  A friend will flirt with your boyfriend. 
A best friend will have a one-night-stand with him.

18.  When it rains, a friend will share an umbrella with you. 
A best friend will say: “Run, Bitch!”

19.  A friend will call you: “Friend!” 
A best friend will call you: “Hey, crazy!”

20.  A friend will tell you if you’re in a bad romance. 
A best friend will drag you by the hair out of it.

21.  A friend will talk the talk. 
A best friend will walk the walk.

22.  A friend will just laugh if you fart. 
A best friend will try to fart louder.

23.  A friend will make sure to attend your party. 
A best friend will stay behind after everyone leaves to help you clean up.

24.  A friend will try to become your best friend. 
But your best friend will never let that happen.

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